Weakening up at 4 am, I opened my eyes, realized what surrounded me, darkness, still darkness, the sun had not yet rise, a new day not yet here. I should go back to sleep again, I wonder if I could, but my mind is moving in a shallow hall by the speed of light; well, three hours is probably enough. My finger flipped the switch and let the artificial light hurt my eyes; Siri reminded me that the alarm was set for six in the morning; well, that won’t be necessary anymore.
I can not remember when I started losing sleep; the earliest memories backdate to the elementary era. At the time, my parent didn’t get along very well can be an understatement; they were constantly arguing. The school wasn’t easy for me also. The teacher and other students were bullying me for being different, and the curriculum wasn’t easy also. I was afraid of these two places. I didn’t want to go to school but was also scared to go back home. I like to wander in the city after class, a big city and tiny me.
Until one day, I stopped by a police officer, and I told him I didn’t want to go home. He said:” son, in my line of work, I don’t let fear dictate me. One day, you will learn how to be brave. Now go home.” when I got back to my house, my mom gave me a box of my favorite Japanese cheese cookies, it was sweet. Mother told me she had a conversion with the school, and they were all going to help me, everything turned out to be okay.
I still enjoy the same cookies. When I cannot go back to sleep, I usually take a few of them with a cup of coffee. After I moved to the United States, the smell of roasted coffee beans became a part of my life. My family decided to move to America when I was fourteen. Living in a new country is never easy. I was afraid that I wouldn’t mix in. Finally, after many years of hardship, things started to get in shape, then was the most peaceful period in my life.
Good time did not last long. Bad news arrived early in the morning. The government back in the home accused my father’s business partner of some trumped-up charge. Account frozen, property seized. We lost most of the income, and more importantly, the home is no more. I was depressed, and the fear came back to me. I came to Chicago, and finally, after two years, I was able to stand again.
Even in this undesirable situation, I realized that I shall still try to put my life together again. I struggled for many days because I was no longer sure if I could get back to school life. It seems so far away now. I could not finish the admission paperwork until I saw the box of cheese cookies on my table, “don’t let fear dictate you.”
yes
Don’t let fear dictate you.
I wanted to rest a little more, so I turned off the light; darkness did not resume this time. It was 6 Am now, I looked out of the window, and the sun had risen again;
there was light.